Vilsack Expected to Curse Hillary’s Campaign

After being the first to officially drop out of the ’08 presidential campaign, former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack is planning to put a political curse on Hillary’s campaign next Monday. The two notable figureheads of the Democratic Leadership Corporation will co-opt their wonder-DLC powers together in the form of one slightly more notable figurehead of the DLC. The DLC is expected to recognize the cursed occasion by expanding their merchandising and releasing a monolithic bobblehead doll that features both of their likenesses.

Cue sappy music: Reunited and it feels so good…

Hillary and Vilsack co-opt their wonder-DLC powers to curse "The American Dream."

Vilsack worked his Ozlike wizardry in 2004 when he supported John Kerry’s run to the middle, pulling levers behind the curtain -- only to see his plan foiled by a little girl from Kansas and her little dog too. Damn you, Toto! On the other slight of hand, Vilsack’s wife, Christie, openly endorsed John Kerry in the Iowa Democratic Primary, which helped him win Iowa but failed to win the big shabang. Cross your fingers Hillary and pray you don’t win Iowa; this may be the only way to lift the curse.

In the meantime Political Fallout Laboratories is working on an antidote that will reverse the Vilsack curse and plans on selling it to the Hillary Camp for an undisclosed amount of cash.