48 Hours: “The Heat is ON” for VOICE

Are my eyes deceiving me, or did House Speaker Pat Murphy just stick a banana in the tailpipe of the 'Clean Elections' bill?"

With less than 48 hours left in this year’s Iowa legislative session, there’s no time to look back, especially with regard to the fate of VOICE (Voter-Owned Iowa Clean Elections). By the way, how come you never hear anyone complaining about lawmakers having summers, falls and half of springs off? But I digress --unless you answered this rhetorical conundrum: “So they can raise barrels of money for the next election.”

Despite the heat from activists or what Yepsen calls “L*beral H*otheads,” the bill (HSB 105) has been sitting on a House Appropriations subcommittee backburner for weeks.

It’s time to turn up the heat and make one final push to keep VOICE from suffering a tragic and untimely "Death by Committee." The Horror! The Horror!

Speaking of which, let’s take time for yet another mini-round of…

“Deconstructing Yepsen: Tales from the Intellectually Lazy”


In Yepsen’s latest diatribe, “Get more from Legislature: Sell ideas to people first,” Yepsen comes down from the burning political bush (stoked with old clippings of his previous columns I’m sure) and attempts to impart some words-of-wisdom to Iowa Lawmakers – before they depart for home.


1. VOICE: Who’s selling what and to whom?

Yepsen: "There are a lot (of*) things this Legislature could have done to make Iowa a better place. They didn't do them. Why? The answer is the people of Iowa weren't sold. The gestation period for good ideas in this state is often several years. Groups that take their case to the people often have more success than those that don't."

*added by Political Fallout editor

Lazy Intellectual Response: The problem with VOICE is that lawmakers, especially leaders on both sides of the aisle, had already been bought, so they weren’t in the market for buying VOICE. Had VOICE been marketed by the Democrat leaders, especially in the House where it’s been shelved indefinitely, this bill would be on Governor Culver’s desk, awaiting his landmark signature. Regarding the gestation period for good ideas, Yepsen’s clearly projecting; your readership is still waiting, David. Any day now…

2. VOICE: A Cautionary Tale

Yepsen: "Lesson: If you can mobilize public opinion for an issue or cause, the hearts and minds of legislators will follow - or you'll be in a better position to get new legislators."

Lazy Intellectual Response: Agree. Although, Yepsen left out "pocketbook" (the hearts, minds, and pocketbooks…). Should VOICE fail to even make it to the floor for a debate and vote, it will come back to haunt some legislators. This is precisely why it hasn’t made it to the floor: Who wants to be on record for having voted against “Clean Elections,” eh?

3. The Peoples’ Purchasing Power?

Yepsen: "The lesson for those trying to get the Legislature to do something is simple: Sell the voters first."

Lazy Intellectual Response: Without VOICE, it’s a Buyer’s Market for legislators, not the other way around. It's time for Iowa Voters to flip the equation.

4. The debate about debates

Yepsen: "Other issues in Iowa lend themselves to a few years of debate. Iowa's income, sales and property tax systems need overhaul. Each year, lawmakers tweak here and there, but comprehensive change seems elusive. The same is true for local control of hog lots, or using public dollars to pay for political campaigns or tax breaks for rainforests."

Lazy Intellectual Response: But how can a debate occur if the issues are held in captivity by Senate and House leaders? Not to mention, Pam Jochum has introduced a public campaign funding bill every year for over 10 years, so when does it merit a debate? Besides, preserving logic and Democracy is not like preserving fine wine, but rather, only serves to erode both of them, eh David?

5. "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow." ~Mark Twain

Yepsen: "While there were many disappointments and shortcomings to this session, there's time over the summer and fall to correct some of them. Democratic lawmakers should use these months between adjournment and the start of next January's session for an aggressive series of interim studies on a host of issues facing Iowa. Do the research. Hear from the experts. Draft well constructed bills."

Lazy Intellectual Responder: That goes double for political pundits writing for major corporate newspaper outlets. The beauty of being a lazy intellectual is not having to do the research, or at least being held accountable by shareholders, or worse, special interests’ contributors. By the way, VOICE is a well constructed bill and has been successful in states with smaller gestation periods (e.g. Maine & Arizona).

Note to House Speaker Pat Murphy: It's not too late to pull the banana out...

Deconstructing Yepsen: Tales from the Intellectually Lazy

While raising money for an "Intellectually Lazy" charity event, David Shark-Toothed Yepsen devours a H*thead L*beral Activist.

Just when you thought it was safe to read the “Des Moines Register” again (cue Jaws’ theme music here), David Yepsen opened his mouth and attempted to unleash some analysis of the Iowa Legislature’s 2007 session. Similar to the Democrat Majority’s approach of playing it safe this year, Yepsen’s scratch-‘n’-surf political analysis has avoided catching any major waves.

It was only a matter of time before the little voice inside Yepsen’s head would resurface as well as Yepsen’s trademark style and dependency on chopped logic and logical fallacies. Let’s take an “intellectually lazy” look at some of Yepsen’s analytical tells in his latest diatribe, “High hopes deflate the 2007 legislative session”:

1. When all else fails, blame Satan, or worse, teachers and public employees.

Yepsen: “Today, Democrats are more influenced by various spending constituencies, such as teacher and public-employee unions.”

Lazy Intellectual Response: Why does Yepsen continue to scapegoat unions and bash teachers? This may mean delving into Yepsen’s psyche and probing his pre-pubescent schooling experiences with a teacher who permanently scarred young David. I’m not sure I want to step into the dark side, where I may encounter a stack of Yepsen’s analysis papers submerged in a sea of blood-red ink. In Yepsen’s defense, teachers make great targets for scapegoatinly lazy people and for writers who are too lazy to look up scathing adverbs (e.g. scapegoatingly), so make up their own instead.

2. Attack “the Left” (code word for L*berals).

Yepsen: “Some on the left have grown so intellectually lazy they can only measure success by how much more they spend - not by any results they get.”

Lazy Intellectual Response: None. Irony speaks for itself.

3. Attack “the Left” (code word for L*beral Activists) Part II.

Yepsen: “Last week, for example, a profane shouting match erupted in the rotunda between some of these folks (L*beral Activists) and Democratic leader Mike Gronstal. They want public funding of election campaigns. He knows most Iowans don't want to use public money to pay for politics, and that Republicans would just find other ways to spend their money to defeat Democrats. So, he and other Democrats are saying no, and tempers flared. So ... one thing to watch in coming weeks is how centrist Democratic legislators and the liberal hotheads patch up their differences.”

Lazy Intellectual Response: Had David done his homework, he may have discovered that a nonpartisan poll conducted by Public Campaign found that 74% of those polled favored public campaign financing. What most Iowans don’t want is their elected officials spending their time raising over $500,000 for an election they’re either not running in (e.g. Sen. Gronstal) or they’re running unopposed (e.g. Rep. Rants).

4. Lose your temper and resort to name calling.

Yepsen: "So ... one thing to watch in coming weeks is how centrist Democratic legislators and the liberal hotheads patch up their differences.”

Lazy Intellectual Response: Hey now, simmer down big fella. No need to get testy and call people “hotheads,” or worse, a “centrist.” Feelings don’t grow on trees, you know? Besides, in the incident Yepsen’s referencing, a VOICE activist called Gronstal a “Republican in Democrat Clothing,” and it was Gronstal who lost his temper and responded with, “…Kiss my ass” before stomping off and dropping an F-Bomb from afar. So, who’s the hothead here, David? Had you or your paper covered this story, maybe your name calling would’ve been properly aligned with the proper subjects. Golly David, seeing how the Newspaper Association has been actively lobbying against the VOICE bill, maybe you’re right about one thing: the Democrats ARE being influenced by some spending constituencies. Meow.

Although Yepsen’s little voice did resurface in his latest effort, David did refrain from injecting his Political Editorial Omniscient (P.E.O.) narrator into his commentary. Although, Yepsen did resort to using slanted language and name-calling, which may be construed by the intellectually lazy as a step backwards in his political punditry progress. But how would I know, I’m nothing but a L*beral H*thead. (cue Jaws' theme music here)
_____________________
Cross-posted at “Surviving Yepsen”

Sen. Gronstal Drops F-Bomb on Iowans' VOICE

Republicans in Democrat Clothes???

Apparently there’s one thing Dick Cheney doesn’t own, and that’s the rights to dropping F-Bombs on Corporate Hill. Following in his footsteps, Iowa’s new Senate Majority Leader Mike “I’m Not a Crook” Gronstal dropped a “kiss my ass” coupled with an F-Bomb on VOICE activists at the state capitol yesterday.

Duck and Cover!!!

Now that’s leadership, eh?

According to news reports and eyewitness accounts, VOICE activists, who had gathered for an organized lobbying effort at the State House, cornered Gronstal and tried to engage him into a discussion about the fate of the VOICE bill, which has been stuck in committee. The one-sided discussion/lecture got a little heated, until an older activist threw kerosene on the fire and said, “Your nothing but a Republican in Democrat clothing.”

Now thems fightin’ words!

Duck and Cover!!!

“That's the lowest blow that anyone's ever dealt me. You can kiss my ass!"

Shocked and awed by Gronstal’s attack, the VOICE activists barely had enough time to wipe off the vulgar debris, before Gronstal pushed the button and dropped an F-Bomb on their unsuspecting heads.

Sen. Gronstal refused to talk to reporters and stomped off to his office. After giving himself a “Time Out” in his office, Senator Gronstal released the following statement:

“Someone called me a crook. I lost my temper and ended the conversation.”

Iowa Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal: "I'm not a crook!"

By crook, did Gronstal mean Republican?

Uh oh....Duck and Cover!!!
_______________________________

More Fallout: Gronstal’s F-Bomb Double-Doppler Tracker...

Watch video clip, “Tense Talk at Statehouse” (WOI TV-5)

Read & Take Action!: “Gronstal to Iowa Voters – F*ck You!” (Blog for Iowa)

My VOICE LTE: "Take special-interest money out of elections" (Des Moines Register)

F-Bomb Warning Signs: "Pass public financing for Iowa campaigns" (Des Moines Register)

VOICE Bill: “Special Interests, Nevermore!”

Today is “Lobby Day” at the Iowa State Capital (High Noon), as lobbyists across the state gather and urge our elected officials to pass VOICE (Voter-Owned Iowa Clean Elections). Despite the Democrat Majority Leaders' attempt to silence the bill by killing it in committee, the people of Iowa are making their voices heard. Should VOICE die in committee, I can only imagine the psychological burdens those responsible for allowing it to do so will have to face -- as their guilt comes rapping, rapping at their chamber doors…

Quoth the Raven: "Special Interests, Nevermore!"

“The Raven’s VOICE” (Parody of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven”)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten Democratic lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the House chamber door.
`'Tis some constituent,' I muttered, `tapping at the House chamber door--
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was the end of April
And the VOICE bill wrought its ghost upon the House Appropriations’ floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my constituents whose voices had been silenced in committee --
And replaced by special interests whose influence helps shape Democracy --
Nameless here, ‘tis such a pity.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtainThrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating`'Tis some voter entreating entrance at the House chamber door -
Some late voter entreating entrance at the House chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at the House chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Democracy Yore’
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Democracy Yore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the House chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at the window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -'
Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately bird of the saintly days of Democracy yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above the house chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!
'Quoth the raven, `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above the House chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above the House chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
Those three words, as if his soul in those words he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.
'Then the bird said, `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Special Interests, Never-nevermore."

'But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, special interests, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Democracy yore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Democracy yore!
'Quoth the raven, `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!
'Quoth the raven, `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Democracy Yore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Democracy Yore?
'Quoth the raven, `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!
'Quoth the raven, `Special Interests, Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the House chamber floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Lucy: “Iowa Democratic Majority Suffering Trifectaphobia"

Only 10 days remain in this year’s legislative session in Iowa, and a number of pivotal bills have not only flown under the radar of the Iowa media, but also have managed to find refuge in the DMZ (Democrat Majority Zone). In lieu of sending these bills out into battle, where they can be discussed and debated on the chamber floors, the new Democrat Majority leaders have silenced the bills, condemning them to a fate worse than any imaginable form of torture: Death by Committee! (Note: Death by Committee has been recently banned by the British Parliament, who cited the torture as barbarous and inhumane.)

Although some hope remains, the following bills face the KIC (Killed in Committee) Treatment: Voter-Owned Iowa Clean Elections (HSB 805), CAFO (Confined Animal Feeding Operation) Regulation (HF 873), and the Civil Rights Bill (SF 427).

With the Democrats in charge of both houses and the executive branch of Iowa, these bills appeared destined to pass during this session. But as we all know, nothing is a given in the Underworld of Politics. Perplexed by the Majority’s paralysis, I sought to tap the infinite wisdom of Lucy, an untrained, yet affordable psychiatrist:


Political Fallout: Say Lucy, how come Iowa’s new Democrat Majority leaders are helping kill bills in committee?

Lucy: Isn’t it obvious?

Political Fallout: No, that’s why I’m asking you.

Lucy: I wish I could help, but I didn’t hear anything hit the bottom of the can?

Political Fallout: (Pulls out a nickel and plops it into can) Now will you help?

Lucy: They suffer from Trifectaphobia.

Political Fallout: Tri-fect-a-what-a?

Lucy: Phobia. That’s right, Trifectaphobia.

Political Fallout: What’s that?

Lucy: Oh, if I only knew… (I plop another nickel in the can). Ah, sweet sweet music to my ears. Trifectaphobia is the fear of losing power and control. Once all of the power and control has been usurped, the new party’s stranglehold manages to slowly strangle itself to death.

Political Fallout: So, it’s like triangulation strangulation, eh? Is there any way to overcome it?

Lucy: (Bats eyes lovingly) A date with yours truly. And flowers, and a box of chocolates, and holding my hand on the playground when everyone is watching, and…

Political Fallout: Oh, brother. Any other remedies?

Lucy: What the people tend to forget is that they have the power, so phone calls and e-mails to their representatives may help ease leaders' Trifectaphobic tendencies.

Political Fallout: And what if that doesn’t work?

Lucy: I suggest voters began feeding them their tails. So, when will you pick me up for our date? (Bats eyes lovingly) Hmmmm?

Political Fallout: AAAAAhhhggggggggg!!!!

Clean Election’s Price Tag for Restoring Democracy

With our VOICE (Voter Owned Iowa Clean Elections bill: HF 805) on life support, struggling for it’s last gasp of clean air in a House Appropriations sub-committee, our newly elected Democratic Majority is making their priorities clear, and it appears “Clean Elections” may not be one of them. I hope Iowa’s 82nd General Assembly doesn’t intend to follow their predecessors’ mantra: “Now that we have the majority rule, let’s use our new powers to insure that we maintain it.”

From what I’ve gathered, the only barrier impeding VOICE’s move forward is funding. The price tag for creating a Clean Elections startup fund is $10 million (approximately less than .01% of our state’s annual budget). Rep. Dave Jacoby, one of the three members of the House Appropriation sub-committee who will decide upon VOICE’s fate, contends there’s not enough funding for this bill. There are funding mechanisms written in the bill that will help replenish the fund each election cycle; some of these include an optional income tax check off, private donations to the fund, seed money and qualifying fees collected by candidates who volunteer to participate, and a funding stream collected from unclaimed or abandoned property. The latter funding mechanism brings in an estimated $12 - $15 billion and would cover the entire fund. Jacoby pointed out this funding mechanism is allocated from the state’s general fund, which means something else would have to be cut. So the big question is how much of a priority is the Democratic majority willing to make Clean Elections?

This is the question all of us need to pursue with our representatives, the Democratic leaders, and the three members of the House Appropriations sub-committee. The bill hasn’t been scheduled on the docket as of yet, so there’s still time to contact all of the aforementioned people. We cannot afford for this bill to die in committee, so share your voice by urging VOICE forward. In the meantime, let’s take a brief commercial break, brought to you in part by Political Fallout, exposers of political absurdities and hypocrisies:

Can Iowa Afford Clean Elections? (VOICE Over)

Iowa Values Fund (Corporate Welfare): $10 million/year

Iowa Football Coach Kirk Ferentz’s Yearly Salary: $1.2 million (+$400,000 longevity bonus)

2006 Iowa Governor’s Race: $13 million

2006 Iowa House & Senate Race Disbursements: $16,639 million

Big Tobacco Ho’ Minority Leader Christopher Rants Big Tobacco Mo’: $60,000

Security Detail for Culver’s Children: $253,494

Clean Elections (VOICE): $10 million

Cost of e-mailing representative: $Zero

Restoring Faith in Democracy: $Priceless

Who’s Afraid of Clean Elections?

Mr. Big Bad Clean Elections: "I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your House of Incumbency down!"

Who’s afraid of Clean Elections,
Voter-Owned Iowa Clean Elections?
Who’s afraid of Clean Elections?
Tra la la la la

The “Clean Elections” bill (HF 805) is huffing and puffing at the Iowa House chamber door, while the Three Little Pigs who sit on the House Appropriations sub-committee decide what to do. But time is running out for ol’ Clean Elections, for the Three Little Pigs are said to vote on Tuesday or Wednesday yore, deciding whether or not to invite Clean Elections in for a debate and discussion on the House and Senate floor.

Who’s afraid of Clean Elections,
Voter-Owned Iowa Clean Elections?
Who’s afraid of Clean Elections?
Tra la la la la

Meanwhile Iowa Voters are becoming antsy,
For they’ve grown tired of money in politics
And are plotting a political vigilante.
Resurrected by the notion of restoring integrity, trust, and faith in politics,
The Iowa Voters are breathing new life into Clean Elections.
But more VOICEs need to be heard,
So contact your representatives and the majority leaders.
And let them know where you stand.
Urge them to steer clear from the special interest troughs,
And help us reclaim Democracy from those who perceive their votes can be bought.

Who’s afraid of Clean Elections,
Voter-Owned Iowa Clean Elections?

Could it be OUR House Appropriations Sub-Committe Members?

Dave Jacoby
E-mail: David.Jacoby@legis.state.ia.us
Home Address: 2308 Northridge Drive, Coralville, IA, 52241
Home Telephone: 319-358-8538

Jo Oldson
E-mail: Jo.Oldson@legis.state.ia.us
Home Address: 418 38th Place, Des Moines, IA, 50312
Home Telephone: 515-255-2805

Dwayne Alons
E-mail: Dwayne.Alons@legis.state.ia.us
Home Address: 1314 7th Street, Hull, IA, 51239
Home Telephone: 712-439-2479

Or could it be OUR Majority Congressional Leaders?:

Pat Murphy
E-mail: Pat.Murphy@legis.state.ia.us
Home Address: 155 N. Grandview, Dubuque, IA, 52001-6325
Home Telephone: 563-582-5922
Kevin McCarthy

Mike Gronstal
E-mail: michael.gronstal@legis.state.ia.us
Home Address: 220 Bennett Ave, Council Bluffs, IA, 51503
Home Telephone: 712-328-2808
Business Telephone: 515-281-4610
Business Fax: 515-281-3361

Kevin McCarthy
E-mail: Kevin.McCarthy@legis.state.ia.us
Home Address: 5220 SE 31st Court, Des Moines, IA, 50320

Came the day when fate did frown,
And Clean Elections blew into town
With a gruff "puff-puff" he puffed just enough
And the incumbency house fell right down!!!

To learn more about Voter Owned Iowa Clean Elections and/or get the straight dope, go to:

Voter-Owned Iowa: “Reclaiming Our Democracy”
http://www.voterownediowa.org/

Iowa Citizens Action Network: “Get Big Money Out of Politics”
http://www.yawp.com/ican/cfr/