Nussle Officially Takes Financial Helm of Bush’s Sinking Ship

Generally speaking, padding your resume with the title of director of the White House Office of Management and Budget would be considered a vertical move for political climbers. Jumping aboard President Bush’s S.S. Lame Duck, however, may have dire political consequences for former Iowa Rep. Jim Nussle, who was officially sworn in as Bush’s budget chief Monday. While a number of those in Bush’s cabinet have bailed ship, Nussle has agreed to sign on to Bush’s crew.

As his administration attempts to navigate the shark-infested waters of bloodthirsty Democrats before next year’s fiscal budget begins, Bush has chosen to “stay the course” and steer the S.S. Lame Duck, full throttle, toward the iceberg, Iraq. Meanwhile, the Democrat-controlled Senate has approved only one of the 12 House-passed appropriation bills to fund the new fiscal year starting Oct. 1.

President Bush offers to hold Nussle's sports jacket as he prepares to walk obligatory plank on S.S. Lame Duck

Now, armed with the threat of Bush’s newly discovered weapon of choice, VETO, Nussle will have to negotiate the budget with top congressional Democrats. Bush has already threatened to veto some budgetary items bound to plunge his approval ratings even deeper into the abyss of forgotten presidents. Bush’s current approval ratings are hovering around 30 percent, but these should plummet as GOP leaders, one by one, continue abandoning the president, who has chained himself to the budgetary elephant in the room, the war in Iraq.

Using his Office of Management and Budget (OMB) to do his dirty business, Bush has already indirectly threatened to veto a Veterans Affairs funding bill that would give the Department of Veterans Affairs as much as $3.8 billion more than the Bush administration proposed in its budget.

“If Congress increases VA funding above the president’s request and does not offset this increase with spending reductions in other bills, the president will veto any of the other bills that exceed his request until Congress demonstrates a path to reach the president’s top line of $933 billion,” the OMB said in a July statement.

Rep. Chet Edwards, D-Texas, chairman of the House veterans affairs appropriations subcommittee, responded, “This bill is about respect and honors the promises made to our veterans with historic increases in funding to provide them the health care and benefits they earned when they put on our nation’s uniform.”

If shortchanging our veterans isn’t bad enough, Bush has also threatened to veto legislation that would renew the popular State Children’s Health Insurance Program, which provides health coverage to poor children. The Senate has proposed a $35 billion boost over the next five years for the program, but Bush’s budget calls for only $5 billion, contending he doesn’t want to further expand the government’s role in health insurance at the expense of private insurance.

Even Sen. Chuck Grassley, R-Iowa, who strongly supported Nussle during his confirmation hearings, implored the president to rescind his veto threat in a joint statement with Sen. Orrin G. Hatch, R-Utah, warning the president that the Democrats might seek an expansion of $50 billion or more if there is no compromise.

"Tax legislation to expand health insurance coverage is badly needed, but there's no Democratic support for it in the SCHIP debate," said Grassley, the ranking Republican on the finance panel. "In the meantime, our SCHIP initiative in the Finance Committee takes care of a program that's about to expire in a way that's more responsible than current law and $15 billion less than the budget resolution calls for."

Grassley’s words fell on the president’s deaf ears, while the Ahab-inspired Bush fixates on the ubiquitous “War on Terror,” and his “stay the course” mentality in Iraq. Threatening to underfund wounded veterans and sick children makes one wonder: Who’s next? Senior citizens.

Enter Bush’s new messenger, OMB Director Nussle, whose job is deliver the Bush monetary mantra to Congress. Nussle has the unenviable task of trying to persuade Congress why they should scale back on domestic funding, while simultaneously convincing them why they should fund the money pit in Iraq. As he indicated in his swearing-in ceremony, Nussle has no plans of changing the president’s fiscal course and appears content with playing Bush’s rubber-stamp man.

"I believe government spending should be restrained and it should be transparent so taxpayers can see what results they are getting for their money," Nussle said, adding that he looks forward to advancing Bush's "pro-growth, low-tax policies that have strengthened our economy."

After soundly losing his 2006 gubernatorial bid in Iowa against Democrat rival Chet Culver (52 – 43 percent), Nussle’s political career appeared washed up. Nussle had abandoned his First-District seat in Iowa, which was usurped by Democrat Rep. Bruce Braley. During his political interim, Nussle took refuge as a consultant in Cedar Rapids, where he landed a consultant gig with Giuliani’s Iowa campaign.

Then along came Bush, who’s no stranger to appointing good 'ol boys who have been loyal to him. Not to mention, Bush has a soft spot for appointing those whose political careers have taken a nose dive. Take former Attorney General John Ashcroft, for example, whose career also appeared to be washed up when he lost his 2000 senatorial re-election bid in Missouri to a dead candidate, Mel Carnahan, who died in a tragic plane crash two weeks prior to the election.

And now Bush’s prodigal son, Nussle, has returned to the political nest in D.C. While other Bush appointees are jumping ship, citing a need to spend more time with family, or as was the case with former White House spokesman Tony Snow, to procure a job that makes more money.

Bush and Nussle swap deficit-spending jokes while sharing a limo ride on the tax payers' dime

Unfortunately, as Nussle sets sail with the S.S. Lame Duck, not only does he risk permanently drowning his own political career, but if he helps perpetuate Bush’s current fiscal policies, it’s the American people, who will ultimately suffer the consequences as we continue sinking our tax dollars into the monetary quagmire in Iraq. Although I imagine the Bush crew has mapped out its exit strategy for when the ship goes down, procuring enough life preservers for the wealthy folks on the upper deck, while the rest of us remain trapped in the lower decks as we fight for our lives, only to keep drowning in Bush’s sea of misguided fiscal policies.

Good luck, Mr. Nussle. P.S. Don’t forget to pack your PFD (personal floatation device) when leaving for D.C.

Originally posted on "Iowa Independent"

President Bush Names Prodigal Son, Jim Nussle, White House Budget Director

Jimmy the Hustler is BACK…in D.C.!!!

Bush and Nussle share a dubious laugh about their latest duping of the American people

After padding his resume with a failed Iowa gubernatorial bid and running Rudy Giuliani’s presidential bid into the ground as his top consultant, President Bush’s prodigal son is returning home to his adoptive father.

Throw in Nussle’s failures as House Budget Committee Chair -- while serving underneath his adoptive father’s watchful eye -- into the mix and what do you get?

Answer: A job as the White House Budget Director, that’s what.

Now that’s some serious hustling.

Political Fallout contacted Jimmy the Hustler (“Nussle & Flow”), who released the following statement:

We tried to work our hustle in Iowa, but these folks ain’t buying. Apparently, they weren't too hip about the prospects of my better half driving ‘em into bankruptcy. They’re not buying my boy Rudy’s New York hustle either, so it was only a matter of time before Jimbo was bound to take his A-game back to D.C. If we play our cards right, we have less than two years to help bankrupt the country and return to a Darwinian socio-economic paradigm -- where only the strongest will survive and political pimps, like yours truly, will rule the roost. It ain’t going to be easy to hustle the American people, especially with the Bossman’s approval ratings dipping below sea level, but that’s where I, Jimmy the Hustler, come into play.

Giuliani Scores Hit on Sopranos’ Don

Rudy Giuliani's flexing his political muscle, first by landing Iowa’s formal congressional pimp, Jimmy the Hustler, and now he’s reeled in Hollywood Soprano, Brad Grey (left). Who do these Wiseguys think they are, the Goodfellas? Grey, chairman and CEO of Paramount, plans to raise money for Giuliani and will endorse Rudy next week. How he'll raise the money has yet to be disclosed, but we can only guess these Wiseguys will have some kind “suggestions” to parlay to their potential donors:


“What a nice family yous got here, Mr./Mrs. _________________. I would hate to see anything bad happen to ‘em if da wrong person were elected president of our country. You know what I’m sayin’ Mr./Mrs. ___________________? So how much should I put you down for our boy, Rudy?”

“Let me tell ya, freedom ain’t cheap. No siree. In fact, it looks like you could use some protection. You know what I mean (winks)? So what da ya say? How much protection you in for, huh?”

Rudy's Work-in-Progress Campaign Mottos:

“A Vote for Rudy Is a Vote for Both Yo’ Legs.”

“Rudy’s Fixin’ to Win"

“When the Boss Says ‘Vote Rudy,’ You Damn Well Better Vote Rudy”

“I’d Hate to See What Happens to You If You Don’t Vote for Giuliani”

Walking the “Political Wire” (A Review)

Looking for a quick political fix? Need a bump to help stave off an onset of political withdrawls? No problem; Political Fallout has the solution for you. Click on to “Political Wire” (see blogroll under “National Fallout”) and Taegan Goddard will help get you wired.

Political Wire is a political junky’s daily “must read” for your layman political junky, hardcore addict, and political satirists alike. Depending upon where the stars align with each day’s political climate, I fall into all of these categories. PW is the political AP of our times, and I find myself walking the “Political Wire” at least twice a day (without a net mind you), searching for political morsels and unsuspecting subjects for my next satirical bit.

Here’s what some of Political Fallout’s contributors and satiric subjects have to say about “Political Wire”:

“Political Wire keeps close tabs on all the players in D.C., and now that Jimbo and I are bringing our A-game to Iowa, we hope they’ll extend their wire to the Heartland.” (Jimmy the Hustler, “Nussle and Flow”)

“What I love about Political Wire is that it’s fair and balanced (need more link to stories shedding positive light on Romney's presidential bid) and how it keeps me abreast of what’s going on (my latest shift in political philosophy). Without Political Wire (and all my staff who reads the news online to inform me about what’s going on), I would be just another former GOP Yankee governor running for president, who just happens to be a Mormon (not that there’s anything wrong with that).” (Mitt (Super Subliminal Mormon Man) Romney)

“If only I could use Political Wire to build a fence along the Mexican Border to help keep out illegal immigrants, who are coming to Iowa in droves in an attempt to vote illegally and overthrow my reign of Western Iowa.” (Rep. Steve King, Iowa’s Political Master of Horror)

“I love reading all the articles about me on Political Wire. I only wish they would make it easier to read articles that are just about me. I find it so tiresome having to scroll through headlines and teasers about other candidates who are running for my next job. (Hillary Just Hillary, America’s First Political Diva)

So what are YOU waiting for, Person of the Year? Click on to “Political Wire” and get your political fix. Everybody’s doing it…

Giuliani & Nussle Hustlin’ in a Tree…

It looks likes Jimmy the Hustler’s coming home to roost, pimping his political wares for Rudy Giuliani, who named Nussle as a key supporter and advisor on his exploratory committee. Apparently Giuliani was impressed with Nussle’s failed bid to win Iowa’s governorship when he lost by 100,000 votes to Governor Culver: “Nussle brings valuable skills and a strong political track record in the state where precinct caucuses traditionally launch the presidential nominating season.” Philosophically, these two politicians make unlikely bedfellows, unless of course you throw adultery into the mix; here’s where they both have some common ingredients to help build a viable and meaningful relationship.

Meanwhile, at the Political Fallout Headquarters I received an e-mail from my former collaborator and good friend, Jimmy the Hustler:

Dear T.M.,

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Newt Gingrich? Nope, but close. Think adultery. You guessed it: Rudy Giuliani. (pause to let shock settle in) I thought Jimbo was going to hold out for the Newtster, but in Jimbo’s new enterprise, Navigating Strategies, the moral compass always points to $. By the way, the compass logo was my idea. If anybody needs help finding himself, it’s Jimbo. And when he starts looking inward, maybe some day he’ll find yours truly, Jimmy the Hustler. Pretty clever, eh?

I hope your new blog, “Political Fallout,” is going well. I miss the “Nussle and Flow” days. Speaking of which, I wrote a quick lullaby parody. Any chance you could post it on your blog?

Nussle and Rudy, sittin’ in an adult tree:
H-U-S-T-L-I-N-G.
First comes money, then comes marriage,
Then comes Hypocrisy in a baby carriage.

Take care, T.M., and be sure to stay in touch. Now that the hustle's back on, I imagine we’ll be crossing paths more often.

Yours Truly,
Jimmy the Hustler

While reminiscing and surfing Jimmy's old site, I stumbled upon the following post, "Nussle Rules Out Career as Political Prognosticator," appeared on "Nussle and Flow" the Saturday before Nussle's resounding defeat:

In case you are wondering, Jim Nussle is on the left. It appears "H & C" failed to recognize Jim, despite all the bright green Nussle signs in the background.

We all know that Jim has problems with fuzzy math, and when he uses these numbers to predict the future, his fuzzy math is merely exacerbated. The day before the election, Nussle appeared on the FOX News show, “Hannity and Colmes,” with fellow Republican Adulterer, Rudolph Giuliani (I mean c’mon folks, anybody named after Rudolph Valentino, “The Great Latin Lover,” is predestined to be a major player. Watch and see as he brings his A-game hustle to Iowa when he makes a run for the next president).

During the interview, Colmes confronted Nussle with the poll numbers from "The Des Moines Register," which indicated he trailed Culver by nine percentage points. Nussle shot back, “Don’t bet on the polls, Alan. Be careful…The Democrats bet on the polls last time, and they lost the election nationally….”

Unlike Colmes, who responded he doesn’t bet on polls and he’s not a betting man, I am a betting man. Any hustler who is in touch with his inner-pimp is a betting man. That’s the only way to keep the hustle alive, breathing steadily, until your next mark shows up and the hustle swings into rhetorical action.

The moment I heard Jim say this on FOX News, I contacted my bookie and bet the spread. I bet everything, and what do you know, “The Des Moines Register” was spot on. Thanks to Jimbo, I have a golden parachute to land with in January when Jim abandons me for the lobbying world -- which remind me of another lesson I learned in the world of hustling: Always have a “Plan B”tucked under your sleeve, because it’s hard out there for a pimp, eh Rudy?

(Be very careful ladies, one of these "Great Lovers" is coming to Iowa in an attempt to woo you and your vote. Keep your doors locked and don't answer any unauthorized numbers, for both men are said to be armed with an indefensible sex appeal and are to be considered dangerous.)

Update: Guess what, Ladies? They're Heeeere...