Reservoir Dems Plot Political Job at Harkin Panderfest

Six perfect strangers teamed up for the perfect political crime at the annual Tom Harkin Panderfest in Indianola: Steal back the White House and restore the U.S. Constitution.

From left to right: Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Nice Guy, Mr. Brown, and Mr. White

Not Pictured: Mr. Orange and Ms. Pink (she's on another job)

For full coverage of the political job pulled by the Reservoir Dems., go to the "Iowa Independent"-- the official news outlet for this year's Harkin Panderfest.

We’re Not Quoteworthy!!!: ‘Fallout’s Weekly Political Revue (No. 2)

Clean Out of the Presidential Nomination Gate, Joe Biden Trips Over Own Tongue

No sooner than Senator Joe Biden announced he’s running for president, Biden tripped over his own tongue. When asked about Obama’s candidacy, Biden said, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African American [presidential candidate] who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

Prior to officially announcing his candidacy, Joe Biden announced “He’s Going to Be Joe Biden.” Not only is Biden facing a self-identity crisis but he never really knows which Biden will open his mouth. The first step in building name recognition is the ability to recognize your own name.Fortunately, the other Biden has media outlets to help whitewash his comments and clarify what he really meant to say had he been Joe Biden when he said what he said. John Stewart attempted to help Joe find himself on the "Daily Show":

Christopher Rants Flips While Political Grandstanding

House Minority Leader Christopher Rants is having a hard time adjusting to the minority party. It’s hard out there for a minority, eh Christopher? It appears Rants has assumed the role of subversive jackass to:

a) undermine the Democratic Majority,
b) lay groundwork for possible run for Rep. Steve King’s congressional seat,
c) set stage for movie remake of “F.I.S.T.,” or
d) none of the above, Rants has always been a jackass?

Rants recently sent letters to thousands of small businesses in Iowa, decrying about the Democrats’ “fair-share” proposal which would “require non-union members to contribute the cost (the fair share) of the union representing them as required by law when they have a dispute with their employer.”

Rants’ response: “…(this) would mean tens of thousands of Hawkeye workers would be forced to fund corruption-prone organizing drives and a limousine lifestyle for union bigwigs . . . And the union czars don’t want to give an account for the confiscatory taxes, destructive laws and straitjacket regulations propped up by their forced-dues-funded political machine and their handpicked politicians.”

Keep your eye in the rearview mirror, Mr. King, Rants’s limousine (paid for by Big Tobacco and other special interest groups, who have found solace in Christopher’s pockets) is coming to getcha…

“Rock-Star” Metaphor Becomes Cliché

While speaking to Fort Dodge Democrats on Saturday (the same day Hillary spoke at a Mega-Town Hall meeting in Des Moines), Tom Vilsack openly admitted he’s not a rock star:

"Well, I'm not a rock star," he continued. "You already know that, but you know what? I'm rock solid."

Thanks to the phenomenon of Senator Barak Obama, the media has concocted the rock-star metaphor, mixing politics with rock ‘n’ roll. Unfortunately there has been a trickle down effect. Despite the recent wave of politicians courting rock stars on their campaign, most voters know that the two don’t mix. In act, mixing the two can be downright lethal (Warning: watching either one of these videos may be hazard to your health and/or political sensibilities. View with caution.):

Hillary Clinton Sings the Star Spangled Banner


John McCain Sings Streisand

Joe Biden Announces "He’s Going to Be Joe Biden"

On last Sunday’s “Meet the Press” Senator Joe Biden announced he will seek the Democratic presidential nomination. Matter of factly, Biden told anchor Tim Russert, “I am running for president.”

To clear up any confusion among voters and Joe Biden himself as to who he is, the Delaware Senator confided: “I’m going to be Joe Biden, and I’m trying to be the best Joe Biden I can be.” Now that this is clear, voters are left asking:

So, is this the best Senator Joe Biden can be?

On a June edition of C-SPAN's "Road to the White House" Biden said, "In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking."

Unfortunately, a number of local Deleware's Indian-Americans weren't amused by Senator Biden's attempt at reaching out to them:

Apu, a clerk at a convenience store in Springfield, exercised his 2nd Amendment right, arming himself against any future Senator Biden slips-of-the-tongue.

So, what do you think Senator Biden's campaign slogan should be? Be sure to participate in the poll, "No, I'm Joe Biden" (right column).