GOP Political Satire Gone Bad: ‘Barack the Magic Negro’

The first sign of satire gone bad, and a catalogued precursor to the Apocalypse for that matter, is when your attempt at satire debuts on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show.

Please, please, please, dear reader, do NOT forward this post to Rush Limbaugh; I have a family to feed and unlike Rush, they cannot survive on barbiturates alone.

Worse, Tennessee Republican Chip Saltsman, who also managed Mike Huckabee’s failed presidential bid, resurrected the racist ditty in question, “Barack the Magic Negro” and sent the song among others recorded on a CD to the Republican National Committee to help get his foot in the door for the RNC chairman gig.

Smooth move Chip.

"Dammit, Jim! I'm not a racist; I'm a proliferator of bad satire."

The song, played to the tune of Peter, Paul and Mary’s “Puff the Magic Dragon” was first played on Limbaugh’s show in 2007. The feeble attempt at satire targets a Los Angeles Times column about white guilt and is sung through Al Sharpton’s parodied point of view.

Chorus:

Barack the Magic Negro
Lives in D.C.
The LA Times they call him that
Because he is not authentic like me

To get a full sense of the racism veiled in satire, feel free to listen to the clip below:

“Barack the Magic Negro” (played live on Rush the Magic Pill-Poppin’ & Ego Strokin’ One-Man Radio Show)




In response to the RNC’s distancing of Saltsman’s Christmas gesture, Chip defended the song: "I think most people recognize political satire when they see it," Saltsman told CNN. "I think RNC members understand that."

Apparently not, Chip. But what they do recognize, unlike Rush and his minions, is bad satire.

Speaking of bad satire/parody, let’s use Mr. Saltsman to help illustrate this, using the chorus to the same tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon.”

“Chip the Magic Hayseed”

Chorus:

Chip the Magic Hayseed
Lives under a rock in Tennessee
Where he frolics with the likes of Huckabee
And distributes racist song parodies…

Political Fallout’s Mitt Romney Ames Straw Poll Predictions

Money can’t buy you “Big Love,” but it can buy you a formerly Iowa-GOP sponsored Straw Poll victory in Iowa. Given the amount of money and family members Romney has poured into this weekend’s Straw Poll in Ames, he should have naming rights for this year’s fundraising extravaganza: The Mitt Romney Ames Straw Poll (unless of course Marvin Pomerantz has anything to say aout it.)

Feeding off his sponsorship of this year's Ames Straw Poll fundraiser, Mitt Romney has already begun the merchandising component of his campaign's business plan. Romney unveiled the Mitt Romney bobble-head doll at the Iowa River and Power Company Wednesday in Iowa City.

Not to mention, Romney reportedly has chartered over 100 buses that he’s filled with prostituted voters (I say this with apprehension, given my mom is one of these alleged prostitutes…) and has paid for their trip, the $35 ticket, and food. Brownback has supposedly matched Romney with 100 chartered buses, while Huckabee failed to get on the bus early and was too late in chartering buses for the event. Meanwhile, rumor has it that Tancredo contracted the Texas Minutemen to ride up north and deliver voters to the Hilton Coliseum via horseback.

So predicting Romney will “win” the Straw Poll would be like predicting the well-financed Steinbrenner New York Yankees would win the ’98 World Series. Besides, with Romney’s commanding lead in the Iowa polls (followed closely by “I don’t know”), he has nothing to gain, much like the Iowa Hawkeye football team has nothing to gain by adding Western Michigan to the end of this year’s schedule.

That said, let’s look at the race for second:

Brownback and Huckabee are competing for the social conservative vote, and this may end up splitting the vote, but the nod goes to Brownback. After all, he claims to be God’s Senator, and the God-fearing Christian Right cannot risk taking any chances here voting against Brownback – you know, just in case it’s true. Call it spiritual insurance, if you -- or God will.

The Ron Paul Revolution should be in full force, but how much of this force will be qualified to vote in the Straw Poll remains to be seen. Paul could finish anywhere from second to last, but the safe bet is fourth, while the risk-takers (i.e. Ron Paul Revolutionaries) may gamble and bet on Paul to show.

Tancredo should be able to whip up the xenophobic crowd, which takes no pains to closet their spite against illegal immigrants. I didn’t realize illegal immigrants posed such a threat to Western Iowa, which is fairly depopulated and primarily farmland. I thought the point of leaving your family indefinitely and risking your life by crossing the border was to make more money – not less by stealing farmers’ jobs. Drawing from his fervent gun-show base, Tancredo should lead the second tier.

Tommy Thompson and Duncan Hunter have already packed their bags and booked their flights. Thompson said he would drop out if he didn’t finish first or second. Have a safe trip home, Tommy.

So here’s the final scorecard*:

1. Mitt Romney
2. Sam Brownback
3. Mike Huckabee
4. Ron Paul
5. Tom Tancredo
6. Tommy Thompson
7. Duncan Hunter

*Not including the non-participants, Giuliani and McCain, nor the White Knights of the GOP, who are sitting on the sidelines before they announce their intention to rescue the Republican Party (Fred Thompson and Newt Gingrich).

More important, here are the real winner of this year’s Mitt Romney Ames Straw Poll:

1. The Iowa GOP – which stands to raise over a million dollars for their fundraiser

2. The Bus Charter Companies (including the out-of-state charter buses Brownback has pimped out to Iowa)

3. Ames – their numbers should do well against the State Fair in Des Moines

4. My Mom -- for scoring an all-expense paid trip to Ames on Romney's dime

5. The Ron Paul Revolution -- win or lose, these folks know how to have fun

GOP Hopefuls’ April Fools’ Haikus

I Pity the April Fools’ Haikus

John McCain: Straight Talkin’ Panderer

McCain tours Iraq;
Finds silver lining in hell.
The surge is working.

Tommy Thompson: GOP’s Only “Reliable Conservative”

Screw Democracy!
Socialism in Iraq
Is the only Way!!

Mike Huckabee: GOP’s Marathon Man

A Spartan campaign
Running on shoestring budget:
I’m your Huckabee!

Rudy Giuliani: America’s Soprano

Pledges to clean up
D.C.'s dirty politics.
No? Just ask Kerik!

Tom Tancredo: The Gun Totin’ Xenophobe

Culture we imposed
On Indians is threatened.
Assimilate now!

Sam Brownback: "God’s Senator"

Look before leaping
Your faith in God’s Senator.
Iraq bed of nails.

We’re Not Quoteworthy!!!: “Fallout’s Weekly Political Revue (No. 3)

Deerspotting: Deer Vaccination Nation

"It's (deer vaccine/proposed contraceptive) not something you want anyone or everyone to use," said Dale Garner, wildlife bureau chief at the Iowa Department of Natural Resources. "We want to make sure it's not used willy-nilly in the state." "What if some people in a neighborhood get a deer down ... and it's kicking or takes a side step or a roll and some guy or lady gets injected in the rear end?" he said. "Or if somebody's shooting a dart gun at deer in a park, and it misses an animal and hits a person? Or if a kid picks up an unspent dart and the injection goes off?"

Sounds like Dale’s already been dipping into the deer vaccination vats. Somebody down at the DNR had better check his arms for deer tracks.

If Lieberman Spoke on the Senate Floor and There is Nobody Around, Does Anybody Care?
“I’m the Lorax. I’m saving that one tree.” (Sen. Joe Lieberman, Closeted Republican Trapped in a Democrat’s Body - Conn., telling “The New Yorker” how he feels isolated in the Senate.)

Americans and Illegal Immigrants: Oil and Water Don’t Mix

Rep. Tancredo protects Colorado Borders from incoming illegal immigrants who are plotting to dilute and sap our precious patriotic fluids.

“Illegal immigration has diluted the country’s patriotism.,” said Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo. “We have a cult of multiculturalism. This is what permeates our society," he said. “Immigrants who come to the United States but refuse to assimilate by learning the language and following the laws water down what it means to be an American.” (Tancredo said during Council Bluffs visit last Saturday)

I knew it was those damn illegal immigrants who were trying to steal our precious bodily fluids. I heard if you have one drip of patriotism in you, you’re considered a Patriotic-American. I wonder if Tancredo will try building a Master Patriotic Race if he’s elected President of the United States?

I’m Your Huckleberry

"But I have, for instance, the week before, Huckleberry -" said Grassley (during a recent interview when asked about the presidential candidates; Gov. Mike Huckabee).

Karl Rove Endorses Human Trafficking

“I don’t want my 17-year old son to have to pick tomatoes or make beds in Las Vegas.” (Karl Rove explaining his rationale behind the president’s amnesty/open-borders proposal at a Republican women’s luncheon)