Sunday, July 29, 2007

On Behalf of His Sugar Mama, Vilsack’s Workin’ Barack Obama

  • With Greenwood Elementary School lurking in the backdrop, Hillary announces her $400,000 adoption of Tom Vilsack in exchange for his endorsement
Nobody messes with Vilsack’s Sugar Mama, not even you, Barack Obama.

In light of the recent fallout from the CNN/YouTube Democrat non-debate, in which Hillary and Obama disagreed on how they would handle diplomacy with rogue leaders (not including President Bush, whose “executive privalege” disqualifies him from rogue status), Clinton sicked her attack dog/benefactor on Obama today. Speaking on behalf of his political Sugar Mama, Vilsack told reporters on a phone conference that he was disappointed with Obama, citing discrepancies in some of Obama’s recent statements.:
“I would hope the senator would clarify his comments as to whether or not he is for preconditions or not and would cease and desist from distorting the record and comments of Senator Clinton.”
Cease and desist? Looks like Tommy Boy took no time reverting to his lawyerin’ days with such threatening legal jargon. Personally, I think Vilsack should have sent Obama a note saying:

Hey Barack,

You better stop messin’ with my Sugar Mama if you know what’s good for you. I don’t care what anybody says, sticks and stones do break bones. If you fail do cease and desist from attacking my Sugar Mama, I’ll have no choice but to settle this the old fashioned way at a bike rack of your choice. Just you and me, and don’t even think about trying any of that diplomacy stuff with me, smart guy. Or I’ll have the lean mean DLC propaganda machine spinning you into political oblivion before you know what hit you.

Tom Vilsack
Hillary’s Benefactor

By the way, Hillary Just Hillary, my offer regarding the Political Fallout endorsement still stands. For a mere $100,000, Political Fallout will officially endorse your candidacy. The Fallout bump should be enough to help deliver Iowa. Please contact me via e-mail to convey your wishes. I will not cease nor desist in my quest for your endorsement to endorse you in exchange for a mere pittance of your campaign war chest.

In the meantime, I’d like to give a shout out to Hillary and the other Sugar Mama’s out there in blogland:

Sugar Mama