Thursday, September 4, 2008

LiveBloggin’ Da Maverick Wannabe: John SYDNEY McCain

Late start on live blog...

McCain wants to reach out to every willing patriot and find peace and prosperity through Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Russia, and Alaska.

Enter Willing Patriot: “Come on down, you are the next contestant on the RNC’s ‘The Price is Right’”

Code Pink is in the House and she is pissed as she rushes the stage and appears to be shedding her clothes for America, unveiling a hot pink silk negligee that may have aroused Johnny Mac at one point in his life.

We take a moment to interrupt this live blog to introduce this Infomercials official buzz words:

EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE!

Can you say executive experience? I knew you could, neighbor.

Sydney plays the Maverick Card.

Two mavericks minus one Cowboy and one Darth Vader = the end of the world as we know it.

Mac does a little Republican bashing, throwing in some Dems. D.C. bashing in the Twin Cities is contagious, folks. The bashing my friend is blowing in the wind… Nice homage to Minnesota’s very own, Bob Dylan.

Johnny Mac: Don’t legislate from the bench inspires crowd to rise from genuflecting stance and applause, nodding their heads, thinking that it’s better to legislate from the Oval Office, not the bench.

Look out those of you on the dole, Mac is going to send you packin’ to another country where you will be able to get your job back that put you on the government’s dime.

I wish the teleprompter wasn’t by the camera, I feel that the Maverick is looking right at me, right through me and the gateway to my soul: okay, I confess, Johnny, I’ve had sinful thoughts about Cindy.

Dear John, How will poor kids get to these other non-failing public and charter schools you speak of?

Can you say project? McCain just officially made it three syllables. If vouchers had only been around when he was a kid. He could have buggy-jacked a buggy and whipped his way to the nearest non-failing school down the unpaved highway.

Did they have public speaking in public schools back then? If so, I imagine Bam-Bam would have eventually improved his monosyllabic vocabulary.

Johnny’s not afraid of those Damn Ruskies. He know evil, especially Commie Evil.

Did you see how he handled that Code Pinko Commie sympathizer? Huh, did you? You want some of that Russia?

WTF: Sydney hates War? Who needs war when you can have surges and conflicts and the franchising of Democracy, eh?

I have the scars to prove it? Was Mac speaking metaphorically?

Interesting strategy: Bash Obama, then let’s bring it together and work together. Political Shock and Awe. This may just work.

Hat tip to GOD. You the Diety, God!

McCain admits service was all about him, not anything bigger than him?

Breaking News: John McCain was a P.O.W. during the Vietnam War.

Audience has inappropriately displayed USA flag and sign that says “John Mavrick.” Was that intentionally misspelled. How did that kid get by security? Clearly a byproduct of the NCLB movement.

McCain points out misspelled sign, "John Mavrick," and says "Hey, that's not how you spell Maverick. Maverick has two 'r's"

MSNBC apologizes for footage of Code Pink protestor, washing their hands of any responsibility, noting that the camerapersons are part of a consortium.

Stand up and fight ending sends GOP into writhing frenzy.

61 political-shopping days until the election...