Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Every Day is Earth Day, Eh?

Question: Why is this man crying?

Possible Answers:

A) He’s being exploited yet again, only this time for the Public Service Announcement Complex devoted to guilting people into turning the station or investing in Tivo (I smell a conspiracy here…)

B) Pennsylvania voters prolonged the Democratic primary at least two more weeks

C) George W, Bush is STILL President of the United States

D) He had his Superdelegate status stripped from him when he endorsed None-of-the-Above

E) Victim of poetic justice in that Earth Day only gets one day out of the year, while poetry consumes an entire month

On that note, this post will pause for a public-service Haiku to honor National Poetry Month:

Junk science, my ass:
The Profits screamed “I’m on fire”
From the Burning Bush!

Now back to our regular deprogramming...

F) Michael Johns was unjustly ousted from “American Idol"

G) His Bon Jovi compact disc melted on the dashboard of his 1972 wood-paneled station wagon

H) George W. Bush is STILL President of the United States

I) He’s still BITTER about you know what; but we cannot talk about you know what, because doing so would admit that you know what actually happened and this would lead to us asking: You know why?

Answer: All of the Above