When the late artist Robert Mapplethorpe portrayed photographs of fist-f*cking in his 1988 retrospective show, “Robert Mapplethorpe: the Perfect Moment,” opened in a D.C. gallery (after being canceled in Philadelphia), Republicans denounced the exhibit as obscene and tasteless and demanded that Congress strip (pun intended) funding to the National Endowment of the Arts.
When the Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Congress wasted no time crafting a bill that would bail these guys out with an $85 billion loan, essentially bilking the taxpayer for the company’s free-market f*ck up.
This begs the proverbial question: Who’s fist-f*cking whom?
Better yet, what is more obscene in D.C.: Mapplethorpe or the D.C. fat cats and Republican politicians who cling to the free market when they are afraid?
Artist's rendition of the Invisible Hand
If you have ever heard a Republican on the stump fielding unscreened questions, you know what I am talking about.
GOP Stump Speech Script Responses:
Voter: How will you solve the economic crisis that has recently plagued financial institutions?
Candidate: Nothing. The Free Market will eventually help our economy rebound.
Voter: What is your exit plan for the war in Iraq?
Candidate: The Free Market
Voter: How will you help insure the 47 million uninsured Americans and prevent the bottom rung from dropping coverage -- because they can no longer afford the monthly payments?
Candidate: The Free Market may be unhealthy right now, but left alone, the invisible hand will heal our health care woes?
Voter: What are your thoughts on pre-marital sex?
Candidate: Who am I to argue with the Free Market?
Voter: Sex outside of marriage?
Candidate: Again, who am I to argue with the Free Market? Let it takes it natural course.
Voter: Sex outside species?
Candidate: Free Market
Voter: If news surfaced that you fathered a child out of your marriage, what would you name your bastard child?
Candidate: Free Market
Voter: Are you, or have you ever been diagnosed with Free Market Tourettes Syndrome?
Candidate: What the f*ck “Free Market” are you f*cking “Free Market” talking about? Who let this Commie “Free Market” liberal “Free Market” in here “Free Market”?
I think it’s time to revisit Witsend Here and resurrect “Talk to the Invisible Hand” (April 20, 2006).
(Note: This post was sponsored by the Free Market and written by an Invisible Hand, thus relinquishing the blog’s Creator T.M. Lindsey of any responsibility or libel suits filed on behalf of Adam Smith and/or Robert Mapplethorpe)