Breaking News: Clinton Endorses Clinton During Muscatine Dog-and-Pony Show

Iowans were surprised today when former President Bill Clinton hit the campaign trail in Muscatine, Iowa and endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton for the coveted political nod: “The person I’d most likely want to go into a blizzard of adversaries until the last dog died.”

Dog-fighting adversaries, still reeling from the high-profile Michael Vick conviction, took note of Bill Clinton’s liberal use of dog-fighting metaphors and vowed to ramp up the anybody-but-Hillary voting contingency.

Hillary uses her powers of persuasion to convince Bill that she is well deserving of “The person I’d most likely want to go into a blizzard of adversaries until the last dog died” endorsement

In unrelated news, a spokesperson for Michelle Obama has indicated that Michelle, unphased by the recent Ophrah-endorsement bump, is leaning toward endorsing her husband Barack, but is holding off on her decision until she has met all of the candidates.