Iowa Legislature 82nd General Assembly Declaration of Human Rights

In Iowa, the Legislators first came for the school-yard bully, and I did not speak up, because I was not a bully.

Then they came for the paroled sex offenders, keeping them exiled to seedy motels 2000 feet from all tangible temptation, and I did not speak up, because I was not a sex offender.

Then they came for people who dismember human corpses with the intent of concealing a crime, and I did not speak up, because I am not one who indulges in criminal acts with human corpses.

Then they came for 16- and 17-year-old high school drop outs, and I did not speak, because I am not a 16 or 17 year-old drop out.

Then they came for the smokers, banning them from public buildings, and I did not speak up, because I am a not a smoker.

Then they came for beer keg binge drinkers, adding bureaucratic hoops to the purchase of beer kegs, and I did not speak up, because I am not a binge drinking beer keg buyer.

Then they came for hunters, who hunt live animals with an Internet hookup, and I did not speak up, because I am not a virtual hunter of live animals.

Then they came for me, a lowly satirist who cannot afford to pay my family's monthly health insurance premium, and by that time, there was nothing left to write about.