Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Political Fallout Unveils Major Political Announcement!

I, T.M. Lindsey, would like to inform you that after spending four days in Washington, D.C. and probing the nation’s underbelly, I will announce the fate of my political future sometime later this year – or not. I realize there’s been a great deal of speculation in and out of the blogsphere, regarding my aspirations and intent to make a presidential run in ’08. Now I realize I shouldn’t be daunted by a four-day preliminary exploratory expedition, but I’ve carefully weighed other factors before making my nonbinding decision to not make a decision.

Before the rumor mill spirals out of control, I would like to put a pre-emptive kibosh on some of the rumors and/or conspiracy theories regarding my potential presidential non-bid that have already surfaced and reared their ugly mugs. Off with your tyrannous heads, mes petite amis!

Alleged Rumors and Conspiracy Theories that have Surfaced Thus Far:

I’m modeling my non-campaign after the new and improved GOP maverick, Chuck Hagel

John McCain will bankroll my campaign when his campaign implodes in November -- of this year

I am the Fourth Rider of the Apocalypse (although, this has yet to be completely debunked)

A vast right-wing conspiracy to destroy my non-candidacy by jamming phone lines in Iowa and New Hampshire was spoiled when the FBI was busted for violating the Patriot Act and had to hand over phone records

For the past two years, Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales has been coordinating a secret plan to keep me from running for what will be his boss’s old job

I would make a run if Hillary threw her name in the money pot (This is partially true, only I said I would follow Ralph Nader’s lead and make a run if Hillary won the Democrat nomination.)