U.S. Post Office to Join Rebel Alliance Against Bush Empire

Postal Wars: A New Hope: On a street corner far, far away, the U.S. Postal Service will plant R2D2 robot mailboxes, thus joining the Rebel Alliance against the Evil Bush Empire. Thirty years after the lovable droid helped thwart the Evil Empire’s efforts by assisting Luke in the destruction of the Death Star, R2D2 has returned with the hope of conquering the present Empire.

Political Fallout contacted the Empire’s second in command, Darth Cheney, who dismissed the latest Rebel Alliance effort as just another political ploy that merely emboldens the terrorists. Cheney also issued a warning” “The Empire will not stand by and allow terrorism to spread its messages of evil. We have no qualms or reservations about killing the messenger, regardless of how cute and lovable it may be perceived by Rebel Alliance sympathizers.”