Bayh’s "Run to the Middle” Ends Before Passing “Go”

The Democratic Leadership Corporation’s very own poster boy for “centrism,” Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana, announced he would no longer pursue his long-shot presidential candidacy in 2008. “The odds were always going to be very long for a relatively unknown candidate like myself, a little bit like David* and Goliath,**” Bayh said in a statement, further postulating, “whether there were too many Goliaths or whether I’m just not the right David.*** At the end of the day, I concluded that due to circumstances beyond our control**** the odds were longer than I felt I could possibly pursue.”
* David = Tom Vilsack, Joe Biden, Christopher Dodd, Dennis Kucinich, Wes Clark

** Goliath = Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Barak Obama

*** The Right David = the Media

**** Circumstances beyond our control = Barak Obama: Bayh’s appearance in New Hampshire last weekend drew little notice, while Obama gave two speeches to sold-out crowds of people and reporters. Overshadowed by Obama’s current rock-star status, Bayh was relegated to touring the county fair circuit.


In related news:

William "the Refrigerator" Perry has already signed on to play Barak Obama in the film, "David vs. Goliath: The Democratic Primaries." The film is set to be released in early January of 2008.