McCain’s “I’m My Own Maverick”

Prologue: "John McCain vs. John McCain":



Final Act: McCain’s “I’m My Own Maverick”

Oh, many, many moons ago,
When I sought the presidency,
I hit the trail a straight-shootin’ maverick,
But was rubbed out by the GOP,
Which was hell-bent on a good’ ol boy --
Bred out of political complacency,
The Christian Right’s new boy-toy --
A prop for the end of Democracy.

Two election cycles have passed,
And our country is a big ‘ol mess.
Time to hit the campaign trail
And spew my straight-talking express.
But first thing’s first,
I’d better two-step with the Right;
For matters can’t get much worse --
‘Less them Christians keep my lips shut tight.

Sure enough, I shot myself in the foot:
Sayin’ one thing, then sayin’ another.
My shot-gun wedding to the Right
Gave birth to Falwell, my illegitimate brother.
And now my straight-talkin’ express is set to derail
That damn ol’ Satan done tripped me up again.
Looks like I’ll be joinin’ ol’ Bush in hell
For an eternal game of straight-shootin’ reminiscin.’

Chorus:

I’m my own Maverick,
I’m my own Maverick.
It sounds absurd I know,
But it really is so.
Oh, I’m my own Maverick…

I used to be a straight talkin' son-of-a-gun
Until my second, yes second presidential run.
I jumped into bed with the Christian Right,
And before I knew what hit me --
Ol’ Jerry had me speakin’ in tongues,
And I lost all my political integrity.

For now I can barely stand myself.
When I look in the mirror,
I make my own self sick;
For I’ve never seen anything queerer:
By George, I am my own Maverick.