Friday, March 30, 2007

Iowa GOP Flag Desecrators Inflamed by Ruling

Thanks to a recent Iowa Supreme Court ruling, Iowa’s Minority Party finally found a retread wedge issue they can rally around: Flag Desecration. On Wednesday, U.S. District Judge Pratt of Des Moines, ruled Iowa’s flag laws are unconstitutional because they’re too vague to enforce.

Oh yeah Mister Fancy Pants Stickler for the Rules, Activist Judging from the Bench? Iowa’s GOP unconstitutional lawmakers will see about that. Too vague you say? Humpf! On that note, House Republicans have vowed to fix that: "We are simply advocating that we should not leave the Capitol without fixing this," said Rep. Jeff Kaufmann, a Republican from Wilton. "I don't think you can let this simmer."

There seems to be a fine line between flag desecration and free speech. Let’s toggle between the two and see what happens.

The first law at issue is IOWA CODE SECTION 718A.1, which details what people cannot do with and to the flag, including using it in advertisements and on clothing.

(WARNING: the following images may violate your sensibilities and/or provoke you to commit a crime (e.g. flag burning). Political Fallout cannot be held responsible for any crimes committed by its readers, in particular those directly linked to the reading of this post and/or viewing the following pictures. You’re advised to peruse at your own risk.)

Rounding up the Usual Suspects: Iowa's GOP Flag Desecrators...
EXHIBIT A: Jim Nussle

Former Iowa Gubernatorial candidate and staunch congressional flag protectionist Jim Nussle sports a desecrated flag shirt while pimping votes on a parade route in Iowa. The shirt was hand-stitched by a 12-year old girl in an Indonesian factory, a job Nussle helped outsource while serving as chair on the House Budget Committee.

EXHIBIT B: Johnson County GOP's Desecration Headquarters

Upon infilitration of the Peoples' Republic of Johnson County, the JC GOP held a desecrated flag ribbon-cutting ceremony to honor the opening of their new desecration headquarters. The occasion was symbolized by the dualing desecrating elephant logos hanging overhead the entrance way.

EXHIBIT C: Iowa Delegation at the RNC

The Iowa Delegation at the RNC wears desecrated flag napkin hats while reciting the Pledge of Allegience.

EXHIBIT D: Rep. Christopher Rants's Underpants

This flag desecration needs no explanation. (Note: Due to additional displays and charges of indecency, a model was used to display the questionable evidence.)

The second law under contention is IOWA CODE SECTION 723.4, which forbids any display of the flag that shows "disrespect" for it as a symbol of the United States, or which may "provoke" someone to commit a crime.

Off the record: All of the images displayed above not only inspired me to write this post, but provoked me to commit the heinous crime of desecration, which by law, may be deemed a simple misdemeanor, should authorities actually decide to prosecute. I would encourage you to BURN THIS POST IMMEDIATELY!!! But be extremely careful, for lighting matches in the blogsphere can be highly inflammatory.


Gark said...

This is great!

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