Rants Gives Rep. Tomenga “Out of Statehouse Suspension”

Christopher Rants: Your Big Tobacco 'Ho

Big Tobacco ‘Ho and Iowa House Minority Leader, Christopher Rants, suspended fellow GOP representative, Walt Tomenga, from their party’s caucus meeting next week. No wonder Rants was so vehemently opposed to the anti-bullying bill. The subject of the meeting is the cigarette-tax increase, which Tomenga and the majority of Iowans support. According to Tomenga, “Christopher believed a more candid conversation could be had if I wasn’t there.”

And by candid, we all know that Rants, the Big Tobacco ‘Ho, means telling his minions what his Pimp is telling him: “You bitches best keep them cigarette taxes down, or I’m gonna have to slap you around.”

Democrats heard about Tomenga’s suspension, found him sitting alone in the Statehouse lunchroom (see pic on right), and invited him to speak at their caucus meeting instead. Inside reports indicate that the Democrats offered Walt some of their tots, thus bringing a smile to Walt’s face, who confessed to his new friends, "I admit I'm probably an unusual Republican, but you could make the case that anybody who calls themselves a Republican is unusual, so I fit right in."