The “War on Toms” Was About Friends and Only Friends

A week has passed since Tom Vilsack dropped his presidential bid. This coupled with an ice storm and subsequent loss of power has helped me come to realize that I needed to end the My Space “War on Toms.”

Since I declared war on Tom Vilsack and My Space Tom, the “friend gap” has only widened at a disproportionate rate. At last count Vilsack had reigned in 1330 friends, while I had yet to reach triple digits. Had I taken a traditional political campaign route and was more willing to prostitute myself for votes, I could have broken the 100 Friend Threshold by approving four “adult entertainers” who requested to be my friend. Fearing the possible repercussions of joining these inner-networking circles (e.g. a STVD, or Sexually Transmitted Virtual Disease – not to be confused with OCBD, or Obsessive Compulsive Blogging Disorder), I opted to disapprove their requests.

And then Obama and Hillary invaded My Space, stepping up their war efforts, and the ’08 My Space Race has never been the same since. I could no longer compete with these virtual rock stars. Everything on My Space has changed, and unfortunately the My Space Race has become to a great extent all about friends, a lot of friends. It is clear to me that I would not be able to continue making new friends in the amounts necessary to sustain a viable Friend War. So making friends and only making new friends is the reason I’m ending the “War on Toms.”