Friday, December 1, 2006

Draft King’s Sons by Instituting Undeclared Draft

Upon his return from a backstage visits to the “Theaters of Global War on Terror,” Iowa’s very own Master of Horror, Rep. Steve King, suggested we supply the theaters with an additional 100,000 – 150,000 troops. Invariably, whenever talk of donating, sacrificing, or the spilling of “precious bodily fluids” is bantered about by the Masters of War, you can guarantee talk of reinstaeting the draft will rear its head, just long enough to be picked off by some political hawk who’s trying to protect his own “precious bodily fluids”.

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY) has proposed that we reinstate the draft, and King characterized his proposal as a political move (Aren’t all politicians’ moves political?) King contends we need to focus on more aggressive recruitment efforts.

I agree with both of them. We need to arm military recruiters with more weapons by instituting an Undeclared Draft, or what I would like to call, “The Undeclared Draft Act.”

In his book The Things They Carried, author and Vietnam Veteran Tim O’Brien writes: “There should be a law, I thought. If you support a war, if you think it’s worth the price, that’s fine, but you have to put your own precious fluids on the line. You have to head for the front and hook up with an infantry unit and help spill the blood. And you have to bring along your wife, or your kids, or your lover. A law, I thought.”

Since neither the “War on Terror,” nor the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have yet to be officially declared by Congress, it’s only fitting that Congress pass legislation that institutes an Undeclared Draft, possibly adding it to the 22nd amendment. Here’s a working draft of the bill, although I’ll leave the revision process up to our congressmen and women, who should be perfectly capable of obfuscating the following language:

Congress, during times of Undeclared War, shall have the right to institute or reinstitute an Undeclared Draft. Using a lottery system, persons eligible for the Undeclared Draft will be randomly selected from a pool comprised of anyone over the age of 18 who supports any military actions ordered during a time of Undeclared War. The pool will also be extended to include anyone whose mother or father is an elected official and supports, whether it be directly or indirectly, said military actions.

This said, I’ve drafted a petition that calls for the instatement of the Undeclared Draft which will be sent to all of Iowa’s Congressmen Elect, including Rep. Steve King, whose three sons will be the first priority in helping win the “War On Terror”. Please sign the petition (right column) and forward link to everyone you know.