Waiting for Hillary (Act I, scene i)

Waiting for Hillary: “A play in which nothing happens…”

World premier performed at Political Fallout’s Theatre of the Politically Absurd

Characters:

Estragon: former Al Gore Campaigner
Vladimir: former John Kerry Campaigner
Lucky: Jackass
Pozzo: Lucky’s Handler
Page

ACT I, scene 1

Setting: Iowa. A country road. A tree. Evening. Estragon, sitting on a pile of hanging chad ballots, trying to piece detached chads together. He gives up, frustrated and exhausted, rests, and tries again. As before, enters Vladimir.

Estragon: (giving up again): Nothing to be done.

Vladimir: (enters and sits on mound of chad ballots) I’m beginning to come 'round to that opinion. So there you are again, plugging away at those hanging chads.

Estragon: Am I?

Vladimir: I’m glad to see you back, I thought you were gone forever.

Estragon: Me, too.

Vladimir: Where was your Highness last night.

Estragon: Watching An Inconvenient Truth through the window of a video store.

Vladimir: With no sound?

Estragon: The images spoke for themselves.

Vladimir: It’s too much for one man. Bah, what did the images say?

Estragon: I’m melting…I’m melting…

Vladimir: Did you ever read The Bible?

Estragon: The Bible… (He reflects). I’ve read the interesting parts.

Vladimir: Meaning the Gospels?

Estragon: If those be the interesting parts, then yes, the Gospels. I remember the maps of the Holy Land. Colored they were. Very pretty. The Dead Sea was pale blue. Now it’s (reflects) black with chocolate swirls.

Vladimir: Now I’m craving ice cream.

Estragon: Me too. Let’s go.

Vladimir: But we can’t go.

Estragon: Why not?

Vladimir: We’re waiting for Hillary.

Estragon: (despairingly) Ah! (pause) You sure it was here? In Iowa?
Vladimir: Yes. She said to wait here, by the tree. Look, here comes her page now. (Page enters.)

Page: Ms. Clinton told me to tell you she won’t come this evening.

Vladimir: Is that all?

Page: No, Sir. Ms. Clinton said she will come tomorrow.

Vladimir: All right, you may go.

Page: What am I to tell Ms. Clinton, Sir?

Vladimir: Tell her…(he hesitates) you saw us. You saw us sitting here, waiting. You did see us waititng, didn’t you?

Page: Yes, sir. (Steps back, hesitates, turns and exits running.)

Estragon: Should we go then?

Vladimir: The page said Ms. Clinton was sure to come tomorrow. (pause) What do you say to that?

Estragon: Then all we have to do is wait here.

Vladimir: We can still part if you think it would be better.

Estragon: It’s not worthwhile now. (silence)

Vladimir: No, it’s not worth while now. (silence)

Estragon: Well, shall we go?

Vladimir: Yes, let’s go.

(They do not move. Curtain.)