White Elephant Alford Trying to Unload White Elephant

While conducting a housing search in the Iowa City area, I inadvertently set the minimum price at $1.5 million. Given my current blogger salary at “Political Fallout,” this didn’t seem too unrealistic, although I was trying to find something under a cool million. My search yielded two results, one a humble abode for a mere $1.9 million, while the other was listed at a less modest $1.65 million. I looked into the latter property and discovered it belonged to the University of Iowa’s former basketball coach, Steve Alford. The property had been assessed at $1.3 million -- approximately the same amount Alford banked last year (after factoring in all his bonus perks) while leading the Hawkeyes to…?

It looks like the 2006 White Elephant Final Four finisher has his own White Elephant to unload. Oh, the irony of it all. Who knows, maybe there’s a market in Iowa City for somebody looking for a palatial 9,396-square-foot house, which boasts 6 bedrooms, 28 total rooms, an in-ground pool, and a half-court gym. Alford had me until half-court. Given the Hawkeyes’ full-court troubles under Alford’s reign, I won’t settle for anything less than a full-court gym in my house.

Alford’s realtor, Lepic-Kroeger Realtors, may want to consider thinking “outside the paint” when unloading this White Elephant outside shot. Assuming they’re positioned to make the $350,000 differential, LKR has some wiggle room in their marketing strategy. I suggest having the property rezoned and pitching it to Core Fitness or the U. of I. athletics, marketing the house as an auxiliary fitness center. Or they can extend the half- to full-court, and maybe then I’ll seriously consider putting in a bid. Although, how the realtors plan on exorcising the Hawks’ Nest Demons is well beyond my scope of expertise. I suggest not telling anyone and keeping the gym closed off during open houses, thus silencing the Demons, momentarily anyhow.